Today, we talk about a tension that many of us feel. I think that many of us feel pulled between work and motherhood. We want to find the magic formula to be able to do it all—work all the hours and do (and be) all the things with (and for) our kids. Sarah talks about that tension and what has helped her.
This week is the last installment of re-releases for our parenting series. And I picked the second conversation I had with Jennifer Walker from Moms on Call. Jennifer has played a big role in helping me as a young mother. There is just something about her that makes you feel like you can do this hard thing called parenting. This episode is all about surviving toddlers (which honestly, listening to it is relatable to surviving tweens, too) heaven help us. If you want to hear more from Jennifer, she was one of my very first guests! You can listen to Episode 6.
We are still in the summer series of re-releases of parenting episodes. I am excited to put this conversation back in your ears! This was the first conversation between me and Wendy Speake in which we have a big conversation about the big emotion of anger. We discuss all the internal and external triggers that we have as moms. There is so much helpful content packed into this episode. And if you want more from Wendy, she came back on the show on Episode 46 to talk about creativity and motherhood.
I want to have a conversation with you about where we are in life. If you have ever felt stuck where you are and unhappy with how life has turned out, then this episode is for you. I talk about how powerful acceptance is—accepting where you are and who you are. And how acceptance starts by naming what reality you are resisting.
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Today, I want to have a conversation with you about what surviving looks like. In our culture, it’s easy to operate out of a do it all and do it well mentality. We are told to thrive in every situation. And then the pressure builds and we live in a state of "supposed to's." Somewhere along the lines, surviving got a bad rep. But what if surviving is something noteworthy? What if surviving was actually admirable? In this episode, I will talk about what surviving means to me—what I think it actually is—and how we need to give ourselves permission to show up where we are as we are.
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We are already at the end of month which means it is time for me to sit across the table from you and have a heart to heart. I am loving these episodes where it’s just me talking right to you. And this month, we are going to talk about something that I think most of us struggle with. Every time I’ve reached out to you guys about what topics you’d like to hear addressed, there is one that rises to the top—friendship. Isn’t it interesting that even as adult women, we struggle in the friendship department like we did when we were tweens. So in this conversation, we are going to talk about how to find friends, how to keep friends and what to do if you lose friends.
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Dr. Deborah Tillman joins me today but you may know her best as America’s Super Nanny for Lifetime television. She is a child development and parent educator, speaker, author and founder & CEO of Happy Home Child Learning Centers.
And today, we have such a helpful conversation. It was like Deborah was in my home being super nanny and helping me to the best parent I can be. We talk about how she became America’s Super Nanny, how to handle a strong willed child, how to steer your child in the right direction and how to set boundaries with your kids.
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I love the start of every year because there is something fresh about it. I love looking back at the previous year at what I loved or what I enjoyed and taking notes of what I’d like to repeat or do more of in the coming year.
One thing that I want to do more of this year is to come alongside you to help you navigate life. So each month, I’m going to do an episode from me to you. No guest. Just me. Talking straight to you.
For January, I decided to answer a question that I am asked a lot: How do you manage your time? I share with you the tensions we feel when it comes to managing our time, why we need to learn to budget our time, what I personally do to manage my time on a daily and weekly basis.
I was happy to welcome Kara Kae James back to the show. She is a Surviving Sarah OG appearing way back on Episode 33. She is the founder and executive director of Thrive Moms which is a ministry all about empowering moms. She and her husband have 4 kids and she just launched her first book into the world titled “Mom Up—Thriving With Grace in the Chaos of Motherhood”
We have a great conversation about what it looks like to embrace the chaos of motherhood. We talk about practical ways to do that, what helps us cultivate joy and how to take care of yourself during seasons of chaos.
Links Mentioned:
Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
Kara Kae’s new book: “Mom Up—Thriving With Grace in the Chaos of Motherhood”
Survival Kit:
Sponsors:
Connect with Kara Kae James: Instagram // twitter // Facebook // website // Thrive Moms
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Links:
Sponsors:
(Amazon affiliate links used when possible--purchasing through these links is an easy way to support the show. Or shop using www.SurvivingSarah.com/amazon and a portion of the what you buy will go back to the show.)
What did you enjoy about this episode? What was your takeaway. Let's continue the conversation on Instagram or Twitter or you can send me an email here.
Thank you for following along life with me. I love being apart of your day. And as always, I hope this show helps you survive a little easier.
Kristen Ivy joins me for Episode 95. This was a special guest for me because we have been friends for over 10 years and we started our motherhood journey together. Not only is she a mother to 3 but she is also the Executive Director of Messaging at Orange and the Director of The Phase Project. She has written several books but most recently published 18 books—one for each phase of a kid’s life.
We talk about how we as parents have a limited number of time to influence the faith of our kids. So with that, we unpack the phase guides by looking at what it means to number the days so that we may gain a heart of wisdom, what sort of things we can do over time in order to discover what really matters and what conversations we need to have with our kids when it comes to health, sexuality, technology and faith.
Takeaways From Our Conversation:
I bet some of you feel like 936 weeks until graduation feels like an eternity. I know I did. But I bet some of you look at the dwindling weeks make you anxious that you are running out of time. But either way, I bet I’m not the only one who often feels overwhelmed with parenting. That I’m not doing enough. That I’ve messed them up too much. Or that they will one day be in prison. Am I right? But I love how she took the pressure off of us. Small investments over time is what makes the difference. Its okay if you have a day where you don’t feel like you got a lot done because its the collection of weeks over time that makes the difference. It’s collective conversations or collective events that builds. I want to take those things that really matter and see where I can make small incremental movement.
There is no magic bullet to parenting. Its an art, not a science. Trying to discover who they are and then constantly making adjustments to give them what they need. Its definitely not a formula. And because of that, you need to pause every so often to relearn your kid just in case they have changed.
From the time they are born to graduation there are 936 weeks. You can’t get more and its moving at a consistent speed. Here's a great way to number your days with your kids--its decorative, too.
What did you enjoy about this episode? What was your takeaway. Let's continue the conversation on Instagram or Twitter or you can send me an email here.
Thank you for following along life with me. I love being apart of your day. And as always, I hope this show helps you survive a little easier.
Courtney Westlake joins me for Episode 93. Courtney lives in Illinois with her husband, Evan, and their two children, Connor and Brenna. She is a writer and photographer with a bachelor’s degree in journalism and a passion for storytelling. Her storytelling took on a new life when she began blogging in 2011 after Brenna was born with a rare and severe skin disorder. I asked her to join me on the show to talk about life with Brenna and her book, A Different Beautiful. We talk about how God prepared her for the role of mother to Brenna, how the definition of beauty has changed for her and how she’s learned to see people for who they really are.
Takeaways From Our Conversation:
I loved her advice on what to do when you see someone who looks different than you. She said to “choose connection over curiosity.” Connect with them the same way you would connect with anyone. Start with hello. And remember that they are made in the image of God—just like you. We have to retrain our minds to learn to see people for who they really are.
We can see people’s heart rather than comparing what we look like to what someone else looks like. We can be more focused more on people’s stories.
There's no such thing as normal. Our frame of reference is our tiny world. Show your kids different cultures and races and sizes and abilities. Everywhere there is different. Everywhere there is uniqueness. And that should be celebrated.
What did you enjoy about this episode? What was your takeaway. Let's continue the conversation on Instagram or Twitter or you can send me an email here.
Thank you for following along life with me. I love being apart of your day. And as always, I hope this show helps you survive a little easier.
Kelsey Chapman joins me for Episode 92. She is a Creative & Small Businness Coach as well as an Instagram Consultant. As a self proclaimed dreamer and entrepreneur, she knows well that sometimes you need a cheerleader and coach to come alongside you to help you pursue your dreams. If you have a dream but don’t know where to start; or if you don’t feel like you can even have a dream; or if you want a dream but don’t have one; or if you have had to end a dream then you will relate to what we talk about today. We talk about what’s needed in following your dream, road blocks to following your dream and what happens if that dream comes to an end.
Takeaways From Our Conversation:
I bet many of you started this episode and felt like you weren’t a dreamer. But I hope that after listening, you feel differently. Our dreams come in different shapes and sizes and look different in different seasons. So no matter where you land on that spectrum, we can all agree that God has purposed you for something. No matter what season you find yourself in, God can weave your dreams throughout.
I loved her advice to someone who has a dream, but feels the tensions of following it. I think her advice to just release your work into the world and perfect it later is so sound. Just last week, I was talking with someone who wants to write a book one day. And that was my advice to her. Just start writing. Start thinking about what you want to say. Write it down. Writing a book doesn’t start with having all 50,000 words in your mind. It starts with an idea. Sometimes we just need a push to take a step forward—to release something and then perfect it later.
Comparison is a real weapon against following your passion project/calling/purpose. You have a unique audience to gift and steward, no matter how big or small it is. Just because someone has more or better, doesn’t negate what God wants to do.
Look for unexpected people who might propel your dream.
Even if a dream doesn't work out, God can always redirect.
What did you enjoy about this episode? What was your takeaway. Let's continue the conversation on Instagram or Twitter or you can send me an email here.
Thank you for following along life with me. I love being apart of your day. And as always, I hope this show helps you survive a little easier.
David Thomas joins me for Episode 91. You may remember him from Episode 51 when we talked about raising boys. David has over 20 years of experience counseling kids and families. He’s written 7 books including the newest one, Are My Kids On Trackwhich he wrote with Sissy Goff and Melissa Trevathan where they breakdown the emotional, social and spiritual milestones that kids need to reach. We spend our time together chatting about the four emotional milestones: vocabulary, perspective, empathy and resourcefulness. So with that, we talk about how to equip your kids with an accurate emotional vocabulary, how to help them register emotional pain, how to help them problem solve and how failure and fear are actually necessary in building empathy and courage. If you have ever felt overwhelmed with parenting, I think this conversation will put you at ease.
Takeaways From Our Conversation:
I appreciated his advice as to where to start. I am so thankful that his first step was to celebrate what you are already doing. Because, we all know that parenting can feel overwhelming—even working on your own self care in regards to this topic can feel overwhelming. So the fact that you are listening to this or reading the book or having conversations about this is worth celebrating. I want to give each one of you a high five. So as you start to think through how to help your kids reach these different milestones, remember to celebrate where you are and what you are already doing.
Pay attention to what's going on inside of you. You can only pass on to your kids what you already possess.
In regulating emotions, model for them the things they don’t yet know, that way they see that emotions are normal and good part of life. Give a dedicated space to sort out their emotions. Use the phase "yellow light" as a cue to let your kid know to pause. Consider getting a dog as a means to help them regulate their emotions.
We have to let our kids learn to problem solve for themselves.
Failure and fear both get a bad wrap. We need to reframe that. These are good things. Fear is the birthplace of courage. You can’t be courageous if you never face fear. You want to be a resilient which means you have to stand face to face with failure. You won’t be compassionate unless you land on your face sometimes. That is one of the best teachers of empathy.
Pray for failure for your kids. What would it look like if rather than praying for our kids to be happy, we prayed for our kids to be strong? (which is an invitation for failure.)
Pray for ourselves that we will allow the space for our kids to be resourceful. We are sometimes too busy trying to be their resources. With that, ask good questions in those moments like what do you want to do with that? What’s your game plan? What are you thinking?
What did you enjoy about this episode? What was your takeaway. Let's continue the conversation on Instagram or Twitter or you can send me an email here.
Thank you for following along life with me. I love being apart of your day. And as always, I hope this show helps you survive a little easier.